Tag Archives: Question

Why is it difficult to ask for help?

Is asking for help a sign of weakness?

For a long time I thought so, where I got the idea from, I have not figured out yet. It might be the pressure of measuring up, to man up!     I don´t know. But the inability to ask for help or assistance is a contributing factor to how careful I have to be now. When I finally gave up and learned to ask for help I also had to learn to say no.

The asking for help part came in small steps I started to be realistic, not lifting heavy things, asking someone stronger to do it for me. Sometimes I felt like an idiot at work asking the men for help, but no one ever  said no. When I asked for help there were two possible answers yes and no so how bad can It be?

no! short but powerful word.

The other lesson , the harder lesson was how to say no. I am still laughing at the poor old guy that was trying to cut the line and get in front in the bakery . I was very loud and clear and a little rude maybe, explaining to him I was next and he was cutting the line. This was when I was beginning to say no and  learning to say no.    I was and still am a little clumsy. I even invested in a company against my better knowledge.The most expensive act of codependency in my life!

But I have to ask ,what is the lesson?

what lesson can I take from almost loosing my health because of my inability to ask for help and say no?

I learned the lesson that taking on what others want me to do is not always in my best interest. I have to make choices that are good for me not colored with what others want me to do. That can both be pressure from my work and  family.

I learned to listen to what I want without the buzz from the surroundings telling my what was best or right. People can give you advice left, right and center but you and I have the freedom to ignore the advice. The lesson I think is the hardest. Is how  to say no lovingly. Being able to say no without the anger and resentment attached to it. That is the tricky part. An I am practicing it every day.

It is a process one day at a time, with care and love for yourself as a guide. If you are not able to love yourself. How are you going to love others?

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